What’s The Best Alternative To Co-Parenting When Ex’s Don’t Get Along?

September 30, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

Studies show that conflict is what creates the most pain and anguish for children after parents’ split, and that keeping parental disagreements to a minimum is a key aspect of helping kids become resilient. Over the last few decades, research by child development experts has demonstrated numerous benefits to children when their living arrangements enable support from both parents. One reason is that parents who co-parent tend to experience lower conflict than those who have sole custody arrangements. However, very... Read more

How to Handle Your Child When They Have a Tantrum

September 23, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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During a recent counseling session, Monica, 40, complained about her two-year daughter Abigail, crying too much and being unsure about how to handle her. Monica put it like this, “My husband Kyle and I disagree about what to do when Abbey cries. He thinks we should let her cry it out and I don’t agree. When we do, she just seems more agitated and it escalates. When I comfort her, she calms down quickly.” In a recent article for the... Read more

8 Ways To Prevent Resentment from Destroying Your Marriage

September 17, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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Karen, age 48, had been married to Kyle for five years when she found several letters from his former live-in girlfriend in his dresser drawer when she was putting away his clean clothes. She reflects, “I wasn’t looking for trouble but it presented itself to me and our marriage went sideways after that. I was so angry, jealous and fearful of Kyle leaving that I shut him out and wouldn’t listen to his side of the story.” One of the... Read more

5 Ways to Increase Communication and Improve Intimacy

September 10, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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In many ways, relationships are ruled by the routines partners establish for themselves. These patterns create a dynamic and a good, healthy partnership, or can subvert a couple’s chances at happiness and longevity. When I interview couples in my practice during couples counseling sessions, most of them complain about toxic patterns of bickering and criticizing each other. Unfortunately, these patterns often lead to withdrawal and can threaten the stability of their union. For instance, Carolyn and Todd have bitter disagreements... Read more

6 WaysTo Heal From Feeling Rejected After Divorce

September 3, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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When a marriage ends because our partner leaves or betrays us, it’s natural to experience feelings of rejection. When we are left, it can be a devastating experience and it can leave us feeling angry, sad, and self-critical – at times ruminating about what went wrong. We may be in shock and feel shaken to the core of our being. Self-defeating thoughts can grab hold because we are vulnerable and trying to make sense of things. However, it’s important to... Read more

The Art of Avoiding Arguments

August 27, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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We’ve all been there: embroiled in an argument with our partner, caught up in emotion, and perhaps most crucially, unsure of how something seemingly small escalated. The touchy topic of who’s “right” and who’s “wrong” in a conflict between a couple often misses the point and prevents partners from moving beyond the spat in a constructive way that provides tools helpful in avoiding future quarrels. For instance, Alyssa, 35, and Rick, 36, are caught up in an ongoing cycle of... Read more

6 Tips to Overcoming Fear of Commitment

August 20, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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A national survey found that 84% of women and 82% of men in the US crave commitment and report that being married someday is “very” or “somewhat” important to them. That said, many people seek lasting commitment, often in the form of marriage. This can be a healthy desire if we bring realistic expectations to it. But many adults don’t have a healthy template of marriage to follow when it comes to nurturing and sustaining a committed relationship, making it... Read more

8 Tips to Help Your Teenage Cope with the Post-Divorce Challenges

August 13, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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Helping your teenager to make a smooth transition to becoming a more capable and independent person can be complex in a divorced family. Experts explain that adolescence is a time of transition from being a child to establishing an identity different from their parents. This normal process can become more complicated as teens experience the breakup up their parents’ marriage. Although it may take your teen about two years to adjust to your divorce, feelings of sadness or anger may... Read more

10 Things I Owe My Kids After Divorce

August 6, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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It may seem odd that I feel compelled to write about what I owe my kids because they’ve endured my divorce. Yet as an adult child of divorced parents and a mom who has been divorced, it’s my belief that children of divorce are entitled to certain rights. That’s not to say that children raised in intact families don’t have rights – it’s just that children of divorce deserve special consideration. Distinguished divorce researcher Elizabeth Marquardt adds her perspective on... Read more

6 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

July 30, 2023 By Terry Gaspard

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Caitlin, an outgoing, 35, came to my office for counseling recently and discussed her tendency to pick unsuitable partners. She says, “I always tend to go for men who are emotionally distant. I think it’s because I fear getting hurt and so it allows me to protect myself. I’ve been hurt too many times and I’m wary of exposing myself to emotional pain.” Many people waste time with partners who are not a good match for them. This trend limits... Read more