July 30, 2023 is International Day of Friendship, a holiday created by the United Nations General Assembly (U.N.) in order to foster “the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.”
In a world where global disasters are sadly all too common and where hate crimes and the systematic abuse or mistreatment of entire groups of individuals run rampant, International Day of Friendship should be a much-welcome opportunity to reflect on the sweetness of good friends and all of the many benefits good friendships can offer us.
Unfortunately, even a celebration as wholesome as International Day of Friendship isn’t without some level of controversy.
Should Christians Be Friends with Non-Christians?
International Day of Friendship may sound like the perfect opportunity to reconnect with current friends and actively search for new ones. Yet, while some Christians seem to quickly befriend nearly everyone they meet, others are more careful with who they stubbornly will (and will not) be friends with.
As I share in my book, “Follow God’s Will: Biblical Guidelines for Everyday Life,”
“It almost feels silly to ask, ‘Should we, as Christians, be friends with people who believe differently than we do?’ And yet, in today’s ultrapolarized world, it’s a question we’re faced with every day.
“Recently, I saw a news story in which a well-known celebrity proudly shared that she refuses to be friends with anyone who doesn’t agree with her stance on a specific highly controversial issue. I’ve seen countless stories of parents and grandparents who refuse to attend their own children’s or grandchildren’s weddings, baptisms, or birthday parties due to differences in belief.”
The sad reality is, if you Google “Can Christians be friends with non-Christians,” you’re likely to find more than a few articles written by self-proclaimed Christians who have very strong (and opposing) opinions on the matter.
Some Christians act as though befriending non-Christians is a surefire way to set yourself down a sinful path you can’t possibly control. They believe that good Christians should judge others and choose only faith-filled friendships that line up with their best spiritual interests.
On the other hand, some Christians argue that you can’t share the gospel with a world in need if you refuse to build relationships with the people living in it. They believe that we can befriend non-Christians and grow in faith at the same time. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
But the question is: What does the Bible say?
See Also: What the Bible Says About Friendship
What the Bible Says About Friendship
Whether you believe Christians can or can not be friends with non-Christians, you can find plenty of verses in the Bible that seem to support your position (at least, when taken out of context).
Here are a few passages where the Bible seems to discourage Christians from befriending non-Christians:
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” — 1 Corinthians 15:33
“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” — James 4:4
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” — 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Yet, here are a few passages where the Bible seems to support the idea of Christians befriending non-Christians:
“The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.'” — Luke 7:34
“I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.” — 1 Corinthians 5:9-10
“Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared…
“[The owner replied,] ‘Let both grow together until the harvest…'” — Matthew 13:24-25, 30
And these are just a few of the verses that speak directly to the topic of friendships.
You can also learn a great deal by observing the famous friendships recorded in Scripture, such as the friendship between David and Jonathan, between Ruth and Naomi, or between Mary and Elizabeth in the Bible.
See Also: Good and Bad Friends: Exploring Biblical Takes on Friendships
How to Choose Your Friendships Wisely
Clearly, avoiding all non-Christians isn’t a wise option. Yet, becoming besties with absolutely everyone we meet probably isn’t a wise choice either. Instead, we need to exercise some level of discernment when choosing the friendships that will be healthy and beneficial for us.
Here are five questions to ask yourself when choosing whether or not developing a close friendship with a particular non-Christian would be a wise choice for you.
(You can use these same questions with other believers as well!)
- What Is the Person’s Attitude Toward Christianity?
- What Are My Personal Weaknesses, Limitations and Areas of Temptation?
- What Can I Reasonably Expect in This Situation?
- Do I Need to Set Any Boundaries (And if So, Where)?
- How Might this Friendship Affect Me (And The Other Person)?
See Also: Choose Your Friends Wisely
The Bible never clearly spells out exactly who we should (and should not) associate with, but it does include plenty of Scriptures we can use to help us discern what choice God may want us to make in any given situation.
(Plus, if we’re willing to pray and discern if God is speaking to us, we can receive good guidance straight from the Holy Spirit!)
In general, however, if a potential friend is vehemently against Christianity or if they regularly engage in specific activities or behaviors that are likely to negatively influence you or lead you away from Christ, friendship with this person likely isn’t a wise idea.
However, if the person is genuinely a wonderful, loving, decent human being who simply happens to hold different religious beliefs than you, you may just realize that having non-Christian friends can be a wonderfully rewarding, eye-opening experience.
And that sounds like a great way to celebrate International Day of Friendship to me.
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