I’d vowed to write five hundred words each day but life got in the way. It’s so easy to slip when there’s errands and Back to School night at not one, not two, but three different schools on the same night, for three children at one, and where you’re the teacher at another. We came home, ate ordered pizza and watched the first two episodes of season 4 of Lower Decks, a guilty pleaure for it’s decidely R content at points. Fun as it was, I found myself the next morning pondering whether it was something I should enjoy.
One can’t be a writer without reflecting on what one does and what one should do –so I pondered, is this a pleasure I should refuse myself and I’m not sure. “Blessed are they, the pure of heart.” Christ tells us. I admit, I like Monty Python, The Big Bang Show, Shakespeare’s rom-com plays that often have baudy components, and this satire/goofy cross between the Simpsons, Adventure Time, Startrek and I don’t know what else that sometimes crosses the line.
Because it sometimes crosses the line, should I allow myself to watch it?
Which got me to thinking, not “What is the you shall not pass line?” but “how does one discern the line itself?” The Church guides us, but also expects us to think and work our way through things.
What we do, what we love, what we read, what we seek, we imitate. It is why we consume the Eucharist. So should the vessel which receives the precious heart of Jesus, consume something so much lower? Reflection made me pause –and that pause told me, reconsider. Reverence kept surfacing. An email from the parish about proper attire for being an Extraordinary Minister at the five p.m. mass, a talk on local Catholic radio about being an enthusiastic lover of God’s word, and seeking Him in all things, made it clear. What is the line, and how do we know what that line is?
Discernment of how not to grieve the Holy Spirit is an ongoing reality of any serious person of faith, and our limited knowledge of our infinite God’s love, blurred by our own fallen nature, makes it difficult. We fall into scrupulocity and sloth depending upon our temperments and time and situation. So I looked to those I trusted, read, and talked and hashed it out in my brain.
Ultimately, it came to asking questions. Is it raunchy –yes, but so is Chaucer, Greek Myth…so Does it harm me? No, it’s bringing laughter into the house for the two of us who are watching, and it is not being presented to others, ergo not giving scandal. Is it causing me to imitate the behavior (no). Is it dominating life –keeping me from other things I should do? No. Is it bringing joy? Yes and the laughter is healing.
So what do all the cautions mean? They are there to make sure I do keep my heart pure, to remind me to discipline my brain and will to make sure I place myself before Christ reverently when at mass, and to discipline my spirit so it does not become indifferent to the reality, we can be led away if we are not vigilant about seeking not to stray. God invites us to more, but it’s always an open invitation we can accept or refuse.
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