Reckless Tongue? How to Wise Up

This week’s article is a brief, neat little tangent from our Novena Devo on the Full Armor of God. We’ll circle around to pick up His Sword of the Spirit next week.

For this week, let’s consider another type of biblical sword: the reckless tongue that spews piercing words.

Like mine tends to do.

My son had his wisdom teeth removed and I…

The day after my husband left for a last-minute out-of-town job for 4 to 6 weeks, our 17-year-old had all 4 of his wisdom teeth removed. Surgery went very smoothly and quickly, and his recovery is going smoothly, all glory to God.

We followed the Day 1 post-op instructions to-the-T, including ice packs on our son’s cheeks the 1st day – 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off. The 2nd day was heat packs, same schedule – 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off.

I dove deep into my God-given job of mom/doctor/nurse – and I remembered that this is such a quietly joyful place for me. I found myself thanking God constantly.

With these little intervals, I also dove into deep cleaning areas of our home I had neglected all summer because our schedules were, frankly, insane. Exhausting. I had actually been looking forward to this post-op recovery week as a recovery week in general.

I hadn’t anticipated that I’d learn how to recover from my often sword-like tongue.

… realized how reckless my tongue tends to be

My husband builds sets in the film/TV industry, so he goes on extended out-of-town jobs often. The boys and I have gotten into a groove of getting into a groove so that our home can function just as efficiently with the 3 of us as it does with 4.

OK, I’m going to say it right up front: I personally think this home runs more efficiently with the 3 of us because I my husband is always running late, and his stuff ends up in piles everywhere. OK, there, I’ve said it.

Now, I think I said that rather nicely, don’t you? I’m ashamed to say I use a very different tone when I say things to his face.

That’s the bit about the reckless tongue.

As Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) tells us (and me in particular):

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

I needed to get more wise, so…

When my husband is out-of-town, we communicate primarily via text/photos/videos. You would think I’d take more time to ponder my word choices because I can. But haven’t we all stabbed those words into our phones and then jabbed the send arrow – too soon? #raiseshand

I decided to do things differently during his absence this time around. I decided to bring the Holy Spirit into my presence.

So, during those 20-minute-on-20-minute-off intervals of deep cleaning, in my quietly joyful Dr. Mom place, I prayed.

Some of the time I prayed for my son. Some of the time I prayed for my husband.

A ton of the time I prayed for my own discernment. Word choices.

… here’s how things changed

You know what? Our text thread is so much more peaceful. Not perfect, but more peaceful. I can feel God’s presence, at least on my end. (FYI my husband is a non-believer at the time of this writing.)

So, here’s a short list of how to develop a “tongue of the wise” —

Reflective Response: A How-to for a “Tongue of the Wise”

Invite the Holy Spirit into your word choices by –

1. Praising God for His greatness, and thanking Him for His wisdom.
2. Thanking God for the opportunity to reflect His greatness and wisdom to another person through your words.
3. Asking the Holy Spirit for understanding of where the other person is coming from.
4. Asking Jesus to show you how to model your response after Him.
5. Asking the Holy Spirit for just the right words for the other person to hear.

Wait.

Listen.

Keep waiting if you need to. Trust.

Type only when the Holy Spirit delivers. If you wait patiently, you’ll know when that moment is.

In Jesus’ name, Amen and Hallelujah!