Normally, I would have already written two or three blog posts this week. I usually try very hard to have at least two every week. As you may have noticed, I have not posted since last Friday. There are several very good reasons why. I’ve been doing some extra pastoring. What is it like being a pastor? Well, let me tell you.

The Pastor’s Life

I’m a pastor. Being a pastor involves wearing a lot of hats and being able to juggle them when necessary. Sometimes, I slip on four or five different hats before lunch.

Think I’m kidding? At times, being a pastor involves being a serious Bible scholar and sometimes it involves dressing up like Bob Ross for an art-themed Vacation Bible School. Other times, it involves counseling people through grief or a major life-decision, and at other times it involves taking a pie in the face. Sometimes, I have to pretend I am tech savvy, and other times I have to pretend to know which buttons to push on the sanctuary sound board. I write letters and sign cards but also have to be a social media savant.

A Youth Ministry Story

One time, when I was a youth pastor, in an effort to get the kids excited about our Winter retreat, I told them that if they filled the bus I’d let them dye my hair pink for the trip. Yes, my hair would be pink in front of not just my students, but my peers who served in youth ministry in our denominational conference. It was sure to embarrass me. But I didn’t think they’d fill the bus.

They filled the bus. So one night the week before the trip, three high school students came to my house and dyed my hair pink. And I had pink hair during the retreat. And for the next month because that dye. Would. Not. Wash. Out. I ended up having to shave my head to get rid of the pink.

Pastors Play Many Roles

I have appeared in court with a congregant in the morning and taken middle school students bowling that night. I have taught high schoolers, middle schoolers, and elementary schoolers right before preaching a sermon to an audience of adults. I care for 1-year-olds and 100-year-olds and everyone in between. I am conversant in theories of atonement and Peppa Pig.

Several times I have officiated funerals for people I have never met. Talk about stressful. Here’s the family, trying to memorialize their loved one and celebrate their life and here am I, trying to put together a cohesive funeral service and say good things about a person I never met all while coming across as genuine and sincere. Being comforting while avoiding any assurances about the afterlife is not a tight-rope I enjoy walking. And, this one time, a gang fight broke out at a funeral I was officiating. Zero stars, do not recommend.

I must make decisions, some I never thought I would have to make. I help decide where to plant new trees, what messages to put on the church sign, and what we should eat for supper at our Wednesday night meals. I have to help decide who receives benevolence funds from our church and what color to paint the coffee bar in our narthex.

If I’m counting the number of hats I have mentioned so far, they are: preacher, Bible teacher, scholar, Vacation Bible School helper, grief counselor, family counselor, marriage counselor, social media expert, advocate, event planner, interior designer, IT support and A/V guy all in service of people aged 1 through 100.

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Pastors Get Stressed

This is why many studies show pastoring to be the one of the most stressful occupations on earth. I would have thought that would have been something like fire fighting or hockey announcing (seriously, how to they keep up with the puck?) would be higher, but pastoring is among the tops.

And I get it. I could get called in to a situation at any minute. I have to help people with the most important part of themselves, their spirituality. I have to write what amounts to a 2000 word essay on a Bible passage every week and then give an oral presentation in front of a diverse audience, some of whom may be complete strangers, many of whom probably have differing interpretations of the text I am presenting. I see people at their best and their worst, and their strongest and at their weakest.

And the people I serve aren’t clients or customers, they are congregants, they become like family. This makes the disappointments and the hurts of ministry hurt even more. People to whom I have become quite attached can betray me, can stab in the back.

There are risks to be taken every day, difficult decisions to make regularly, hard conversations to have frequently. There is the risk of betrayal and disappointment and frustration. Since my job is never done and people are always in process, I will never know in this lifetime a finished project. Yet I wouldn’t do anything else in the world. I love my job.

Wouldn’t Have it Any Other Way

Beyond the fact that I am unemployable in almost any other field, I keep pastoring because I truly love it. You have to. I can imagine that not loving this job would cause one to burn out quite fast.

I am wired for this job. My ADHD allows me to flit between all the different hats I have to wear without too much trouble. I can slip in and out of roles fluidly and effectively. I have the requisite study skills and the required people skills needed for this position. I love preaching, I love preparing to preach. I enjoy bringing joy to people in difficult circumstances and walking through the tough times with them. Most aspects of my job I genuinely enjoy doing, with the exception of money disbursements. Oh, did I mention non-profit accounting to the roles I have to play?

It’s About Calling

At the end of the day, it’s about calling. I feel called to be a pastor. This has been confirmed over and over in my life. God gave me a love and a passion for this, and I am blessed and privileged to live this life.

Getting back to the reason why I haven’t written in a while, I have been busy pastoring. Sometimes when you are a pastor, a single mother in your church gets sick and has to go to the hospital and you end up watching her two toddlers. My youngest is 7; I have forgotten what it’s like having a toddler, let alone two toddlers, running around my house. There I was, changing diapers, singing lullabies, chopping up bananas, desperately searching for pacifiers, all in done in my role as a pastor.

It’s About Faith and Love

I used to think pastoring was about being a dynamic and charismatic leader, an outstanding preacher, a visionary. While those things have their place, it’s much more than that. My role is to humbly serve my congregation. I do not do it perfectly; far from it. But my job is to love them as best I can, even if that means staying up all night singing lullabies to a couple of toddlers.

I’m not writing this to brag on myself because at the end of the day, while I know I am hard-wired for pastoral ministry, it is ultimately God working through me that is bringing about any impact that I am having. Somehow, someway, God might have used me dying my hair pink to help a young person take steps closer to him. Somehow, someway, me taking a pie in the face after the VBS met their missionary donation goal brought encouragement to young people and their families. And I have to believe God will use me changing diapers and wiping the snot off toddlers’ faces in ways deeper and wider than I could possibly dream.

So that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. Well that, and the internet at my house has been down since Friday. Thank you, Spectrum.