I had to go there because of the date. Here in America the number 911 signifies a few things. As citizens we are familiar with the emergency service. Dial 911 and you can get ambulance, police or fire intervention. We can also never forget the fanatical individuals that wanted to bring our country to it’s knees on 9/11. Plotting the destruction of landmarks and murder of innocent citizens for media attention and recruitment is sick. Thirdly, we’re familiar with the award winning TV show 9-1-1 starring the poised gorgeous Angela Bassett. Those episodes have us on the edge of our seats until the resolve at the very end. I want to alert us to a personal emergency that we are having and we may not even realize it.
The 9-1-1 I want to shed some light on here is our decision making, specifically the anxious wallowing that we do mentally and emotionally. Many of us find ourselves in a stuck place, circling the drain because of situations in the past and fear of the future. Mentally we link the two and we don’t move on in a healthy way. For example when a loved one passes away we can’t imagine how we can continue without them. The pain of that loss, if not acknowledged and healed can develop into depression. Don’t get me wrong grief is a part of life and sadness around certain losses should be expected. On the other hand long bouts of deep sorrow is not good for you mentally nor spiritually.
My prayer is that this doesn’t come off harsh or offensive, but I feel it needs to be said. Some of you may need to throw the obituary away. Yes, I mean it. The beautiful funeral program that was created for the final services of your loved one may not be the memory that you need to hold onto. I’ll go a step further since I’m out there already. Some of you may need to take some, not all, of the pictures down.
You have all but built a shrine in your home and you wonder why it feels like the cemetery. I’ve said it on virtually every platform that I’m a part of and I’ll say it here. The best way to honor your loved one that has passed on before you is by living a full life. There’s no honor in you read that funeral program every week and crying. There’s no honor in those weird memorial stickers that folks have on their cars. Carry their name on by building a strong legacy. Go after your dreams and make them proud. And as quiet as it’s kept its all okay to have joy while doing it. Everything doesn’t have to be blood, sweat and tears.
I was in a church service lat year and something the minister prayed has remained with me since. He prayed against the spirit of total recall. Hearing that blew me away. What he in essence was speaking to is what I’ve come to refer to as emotional cutting. The conversations we replay in our minds, the arguments, the ugly things people have said, the way we wished we had responded.
We vacillate back and forth between mistreatments and abuses. We cry because we don’t deserve it and what it all boils down to is we wished we have been more brave. We wish we would have had a snappy comeback or at least have walked away before it got to that level. We wish we would have hung up the phone. We wish we would have chosen better. Let me tell you waht I had to tell myself. If they don’t celebrate you that’s there loss. Go on and be great and let them watch from afar. And remember you’re not doing it for them you’re doing it for you.
The same goes for people who are in authority over you. In the moment you may not need to respond. It could be your supervisor, your parent or even the police. At that point it may be in your best interest to be silent and get out as safe as you can. Then give yourself a moment to breathe, maybe grab a snack. Afterwards you can make some clear decisions. Don’t lay down and roll around in how crazy or disrespectful the situation was. Be proactive and spend a little time thinking about how to avoid that space in the future. Get a game plan on how to deal with Mom and Manager Mark the and even Mr. Officer. Then move on.
All in all I want to encourage you to get off the recall rollercoaster, grab raft and sail on down the lazy river of relaxation. You have enough going on in your life not to add these extra layers of drama to the mix. In terms of your mental and emotional health this is urgent. Flag this as an emergency. Phone a friend or dial up a prayer and re-center on what matters, your personal growth and peace.
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