6 Reasons Why God Should Have Sent Chocolate Rather Than Manna

In 1753, Linnaeus designated the tree Theobroma cacao, which translates to “cacao, food of the gods.” If that statement is true, it makes me wonder why God didn’t send chocolate from heaven instead of manna when the Israelites were wandering in the desert for forty years. Admittedly one might argue that chocolate might not fare so well in the desert heat, but God, being omnipotent, could surely have done something to overcome that little problem. I’m also willing to bet that if God had sent chocolate instead of manna, no one would have grumbled as they did in Exodus 16.

I am an admitted chocoholic. With enough willpower, I could probably give up chocolate and still survive, but everyone around me might suffer. Besides, if chocolate is the food of the gods, who am I to argue with its supremacy in the world of us mortals? Back when my husband and I started dating, I told him not to waste money on flowers.  One can’t eat flowers.  Chocolate, however . . .

I have always felt there is something a little wrong with people who claim not to like chocolate.  Either they’re lying or aliens from another planet.

Besides, chocolate has health benefits (which, of course, I always knew, but recent studies have confirmed).  100 grams of milk chocolate is an excellent source (over 19% of the Daily Value, DV) of riboflavin, vitamin B12, and  dietary minerals, manganese, phosphorus, and zinc. Chocolate is a good source (10–19% DV) of calcium, magnesium and iron.

In addition, here are proven health benefits of dark chocolate from Healthline:

Dark chocolate is loaded with nutrients that can positively affect your health.  A 100-gram bar of dark chocolate with 70–85% cocoa contains 11 grams of fiber, 67% of the RDI for iron, 58% of the RDI for magnesium, 89% of the RDI for copper, and 98% of the RDI for manganese. It also has plenty of potassium, phosphorus, zinc, and selenium.

1. It is one of the best sources of antioxidants on the planet.
2. The bioactive compounds in cocoa may improve blood flow in the arteries and cause a small but statistically significant decrease in blood pressure.
3. Raises HDL (good cholesterol) and protects LDL (bad cholesterol) from oxidation.
4. Observational studies show a drastic reduction in heart disease risk among those who consume the most chocolate.
5. Studies show that the flavanols from cocoa can improve blood flow to the skin and protect it from sun damage.
6. Cocoa or dark chocolate may improve brain function by increasing blood flow. It also contains stimulants like caffeine and theobromine.

So, now that I’ve pointed out how important chocolate is to our health, welfare, and well-being, people would be crazy not to indulge.  I mean seriously, it’s a lot more enjoyable than Romaine lettuce and we are unlikely to get Listeriosis from eating chocolate.  In case you are still skeptical, here are 21 proverbs about the food of the gods:

1. Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.
2. When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for chocolate.
3. When life gives you chocolate, eat it all and tell no one.
4. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant.  Chocolate is a salad.
5. Chocolate is great. It gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.
6. I make chocolate disappear. What’s your superpower?
7. Chocolate is the Answer. Who cares what the Question is?
8. Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.
9. I’m a woman of many moods and they all require chocolate.
10. For some there’s therapy. For the rest of us, there’s chocolate.
11. Chocolate is my new health food. I eat it because I feel like I might die if I don’t.
12. Life is short. Eat chocolate.
13. Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
14. Forget love. I’d rather fall in chocolate.
15. Stop trying to make everybody happy. You’re not chocolate.
16. Save the planet. It’s the only one with chocolate.
17. Don’t bite off more than you can chew, unless it’s chocolate.
18. A chocolate a day keeps the bad moods away.
19. There is no “we” in chocolate.
20. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy chocolate. And that’s kind of the same thing.
21. And my favorite: I could give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter.